“ I don’t know how to say this to you but I might as well now as I have
nothing to lose. I’ve already lost everything. If you’re reading this I
might have already left or about to leave. I am broken inside. You may
not have known this but you affected me deeply to a point where I lost
myself in loving you. Yet you tortured me everyday. These days I see no
light I wake up not wanting to wake up.
There was a time I saw my life with you, a future with you. But you
shattered my dreams. I feel dead inside. I’ve never given so much of
myself to someone or cared so much. You returned my love with cheating
and lies. It didn’t matter how many gifts I gave you or how beautiful I
looked for you. I was scared of getting pregnant but I gave myself
completely the pain you have caused me everyday has destroyed every bit
of me, destroyed my soul. I can’t eat or sleep or think or function. I
am running away from everything. The career is not even worth it
anymore. When I first met you I was driven, ambitious and disciplined.
Then I fell for you, a love I thought would bring out the best in me. I
don’t know why destiny brought us together. After all the pain, the
rape, the abuse, the torture I have seen previously I didn’t deserve
this. I didn’t see any love or commitment from you. I just became
increasingly scared that you would hurt me mentally or physically. Your
life was about partying and women. Mine was you and my work. If I stay
here I will crave you and miss you. So I am kissing my 10-year career
and dreams goodbye. I never told you but I received a message about you.
About you cheating on me. I chose to ignore it, decided to trust you.
You embarrassed me. I never went out, I never went with anyone else. I
am a loyal person. I never met anyone with Karthik I just wanted you to
feel how you make me feel constantly. No other woman will give you as
much as I did or love you as much as I did. I can write that in my
blood. Things were looking up for me here, but is it worth it when you
constantly feel the pain of heartbreak when the person you love wants to
abuse you or threatens o hit you or cheats on you telling other girls
they are beautiful or throws you out of their house when you have no
where to go and you’ve come to them out of love or when they lie to your
face or they make you chase after them in their car. Or disrespects
their family. You never even met my sister. I bought your sister
presents. You tore my soul. I have no reason to breathe anymore. All I
wanted was love. I did everything for you. I was working for us. But you
were never my partner. My future is destroyed my happiness snatched
away from me. I always wished the best for you, was ready to invest what
little money I had in your betterment. You never appreciated my love,
Kicked me in the face. I have no confidence or self esteem left,
whatever talent whatever ambition you took it all away. You destroyed my
life. It hurt me so much that I waited for you for ten days and you
didn’t bother buying me something. The Goa trip was my birthday present
but even after you cheated I still spent on you. I aborted our baby when
it hurt me deeply. You destroyed my Christmas and my birthday dinner
when I came back. When I tried my hardest to make your birthday special.
You chose to be away from me on Valentines Day. You promised me once we
made it to one year we would get engaged. All you want in life is
partying, your women and your selfish motives. All I wanted was you and
my happiness you took both away from me. I spent money on you selflessly
you would throw in my face. When I would cry for you. I have nothing
left in this world to live for after this. I wish you had loved me like I
loved you. I dreamt of our future. I dreamt f our success. I leave this
place with nothing but broken dreams and empty promises. All I want now
is to go to sleep and never wake up again. I am nothing. I had
everything. I felt so alone even while with you. You made me feel alone
and vulnerable. I am so much more than this”
